Unusual
by Katerina Kintari
Summary: Shepard is a prisoner on a pirate ship, and the captain has intriguing plans for her. Serious, but cracked!smut, FemShep, Pirate!Dom!Thane, chains. Could be considered AU, can't say anymore without spoiling it! Chapter 4 now up!
1. Captured

**Captured**

* * *

Shepard stood up from the hard wooden bench as the doors to the hold opened. She'd been trying to pry open the manacles around her wrists, with little success, as he walked in.

She stared at him. He wore a captain's coat, with a black hat proudly posed upon his head. His white shirt billowed around his arms, and his tight leather pants clearly outlined the muscles of his legs. But he wasn't_ human_. She'd never seen a creature like this before. He was snake-like, with the same sinuous grace. Bright green scales covered what she could see of his body, black stripes ran along his shoulders, and crimson-red ridges covered his neck. The red eyepatch he wore over his left eye stood out vividly.

"So, this is our new prisoner?"

He had a low voice with an undertone that shivered through her chest. "Who are you? What are you? What do you want with me?" Shepard demanded.

He surveyed her out of his depthless black eye, but chose to answer. "You may call me Thane. I am a...visitor..to your world. As to what I want, surely you know this already."

She tried to appeal to whatever humanity he might have. She widened her eyes so that two huge tears formed and slowly dripped down her cheek. "Please. If you have been here long, you must know my father is very wealthy. If you don't hurt me, he'll pay you anything you want!"

He chuckled, obviously not fooled. "If I were interested in wealth, human woman, I would not do what I do. No, I have another fate in store for you." His eye roamed down her neck, past her shoulders and seemed to glare directly at her generous breasts. The attack had happened in the middle of the night, and her night dress left far too little to the imagination.

She dropped the pity act and glared at him, daring him to come closer. He couldn't know that she had trained with her father's weapons-master. If she could just get her hands on a pistol...

She bent her head so that her hair covered her triumphant smile when he did indeed step closer. With no other warning, she lashed out into a kick, trying to cripple him long enough for her to reach his gun.

He was better then she anticipated. He made no move as her foot missed his groin by a hair. Before she could recover, he was just there, pressed up against her, his hands firmly gripping her thighs.

She tried to punch him but the chains around her wrists made her slow and clumsy and he easily deflected her blow. His voice vibrated in her ear.

"I have never tried a human woman before. You are very...feisty..aren't you?" His lips pressed against hers, his tongue pried her mouth open. She tried to bite down on it, but apparently he was snake-like in this manner too--it flickered out too quickly for her to draw blood. She started to feel dizzy. His voice rattled in her brain, and she began to wonder what she was fighting against.

"I see that every day with you will be a challenge, siha. This will be most enjoyable for the both of us."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks are deserving to the wonderful people at the NSAS who inspired this fic with a passing mention of Thane in a white billowy shirt!**


	2. My Lovely

**My Lovely**

* * *

His hands worked at the laces of her thin bodice. She gasped as his mouth fastened on her neck. A slow heat seemed to build and radiate out from where his mouth lapped at her skin and the room wavered even more.

"...What...what are you doing to me?" Shepard managed to gasp out.

He chuckled again and murmured against her collarbone, "I have hardly begun, my lovely, but I have heard that contact with our species has some delightful effects on humans."

His hands slipped down her legs and he easily lifted her so that her legs rested on his shoulders. He was so strong! The heavy chains around her arms didn't seem to slow him at all. She could not suppress a moan as his head burrowed against her thigh, his ridges scraped along the tender skin and left red welts where they passed. The tingling in her mouth had spread to her chest, and a slow throbbing had started in her belly.

When he touched his mouth to the join of her legs, she actually gasped. His tongue was doing things she never thought possible. The room spun around her and she involuntarily curled her fingers around his head to keep her balance, pressing him harder against her.

He seemed to take that as encouragement. His tongue pressed against her harder, and...was it _forked_? It was definitely forked. There was no possible way a normal tongue could reach so many places at once. His tongue suddenly slid inside of her and she literally squeaked as her throat and muscles contracted all at once. Shepard's neck arched backward as indecipherable sounds emerged from her throat.

She tried to get her voice working, to ask him to stop, but all that she was able to manage was, "Please....please..." She was so far gone that she barely noticed when he laid her down on the narrow bench and removed the iron from her wrists, nor when he stepped back and dropped his white shirt onto the floor. A tiny part of her was yelling to take advantage of her release, but the rest of her was still virtually paralyzed from his touch, and could only watch helplessly as he slid his trousers down his muscled legs.

His bare body was a green blur in her eyes, with his patch a glaring blooddrop over his eye. She managed to get some control back over her limbs and forced herself to roll off the bench, scrabbling for the pistol he had discarded with his clothing. He moved like a shadow over the sun, she didn't even catch a flicker of motion, but suddenly she was back on the bench, her head thudded against the wood, and he was kneeling between her thighs.

* * *

**A/N: Oh dear, I wonder where he is going with this ;)**


	3. Turning of the Tides

**Turning of the Tides  
**

* * *

Shepard lost consciousness for a moment when her head hit the bench, but she fought her way back to awareness. When she did come to a few moments later, she realized two distinct things.

First, that there was something hard and insistent digging in to her belly. It was large, warm, and rather distracting. Second, despite the bump on her head, she had never felt so _good_. Every muscle was relaxed and despite the bump on her head, she felt a languid excitement.

Her father was wealthy and inattentive, and she had been left to her own devices most of the time. That had led to her learning to use pistols and knives, and given her a..certain familiarity..with male attentions. None of them had done _that_. It had actually been...quite enjoyable. She considered her next few moves. They were not ones she had originally contemplated. Her eyes popped open.

His cheek was resting on her left breast while his tongue--it _was_ forked--teased her right nipple until it stood peaked and hard. His eyepatch glared up at her. He hadn't noticed that she was awake yet and she wasn't about to let him have everything his way _so easily_. She balled up her fist and punched him in the ribcage.

She'd managed to surprise him and he grunted, shifting enough that she was able to put more force behind her next blow. He moved to counter her and she scooted out from under him. He stood up and watched her carefully, not at all perturbed.

"So, you have awoken. I was afraid you had given up. And not as docile as you appeared, hmmm? I am pleased."

She looked around quickly, but she was trapped between him and the wall, and there was no way out from here. Her groping hands found a loose object behind her--a piece of rusted metal--and threw it at his head.

As she had expected, he dodged the projectile, but she took that opportunity to try and slip around him. A hand closed over the back of her bodice and yanked her backward. The force was enough to rip the thin material halfway to her waist, spilling her full breasts into view and distracting him for an instant. She ignored her sudden exposure and managed to angle herself so that she slammed into his body, shoving him against the hull with her arm braced against his neck.

She now had a clear route to the deck if she wanted to take it. But, without a way off the ship, without money, or even clothing, getting out of the cabin would be useless. Besides, he felt rather pleasant pressed up against her. She remembered the feel of his remarkable tongue on her nipple and between her legs. All things considered, she really had one desirable option.

She leaned up and kissed him full on the mouth.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you everyone for reading so far on my insane fantasy, and sooo sorry for the delay in posting this. Next chapter will be up a lot sooner, I promise!**

**Also, please don't take this fic too seriously, it is meant to be pure entertainy messed up fun with a bit of brain meltiness :D  
**


	4. Swell

**Swell**

* * *

He froze for a split second in surprise, but recovered swiftly to drive his bisectional tongue into her mouth. This time, rather then biting down, she welcomed him in. He explored her mouth with a ruthless efficiency, pushing her arm from his neck to pin behind her back.

She wasn't completely sure why she had kissed him, but she was sure that whatever happened next, it was going to be enjoyable. Certainly preferable to the alternative. Experimentally, she bit down on his tongue again to taste the texture and shape of the muscle.

His tongue hissed out from between her lips again. "A change of heart, and so suddenly? How very intriguing." He licked at her ear. "I wouldn't complain, but I confess to curiousity. What has brought this about?"

She threw her head back to glare challengingly at his alien face. "Give me a gun and we can try this again. No? Then I'll make my own decisions."

"A very practical choice." His single black eye regarded her. "As you will, then."

He spoke no other words before he jerked at her hips, and the next thing she knew, she was flying through the air. Her eyes were greeted with his tight, muscular rear as he tossed her over his broad shoulder. Her hair fell over her face, obscuring their destination. He seemed to have no shame about their state of undress when he emerged onto the deck of the ship.

"Where are you taking me now?"

"To a place where I may enjoy you properly, my beauty. You shall see."

She resigned herself to being a passenger on his shoulder for the moment. All she could see was lashing hair and flexing thighs anyway. She had to admit, though, the limited view was extremely enticing. Shepard couldn't resist. She clapped her hand to the physique before her face and gave a hard squeeze. It was warm and hard under her palm. She slapped it again, harder, and was rewarded with a strained grunt from her captor.

She saw his foot kick a door shut before he lowered her onto a yielding surface. She scraped her hair back from her face to see that they were in a spacious cabin, obviously belonging to him. Round open portholes let in ovals of sunlight and salt air. The creaking of the ship was muffled by thick rugs.

He settled beside her, his mouth already working its way up her body to delve the well of her mouth. Lighted streamers danced up her bones and across the insides of her eyelids. She dug her nails into his rear, sure now of what she wanted.

He pushed her knee up against her chest, touched his thicker finger to her cleft. "You are quite eager, little lovely. Brace yourself. This will be...close."

He knelt between her pale thighs and pushed into her. She felt herself give way as he carved new channels into her flesh. She was no virgin, but he felt so much _larger_ then a human man. Unusual ridges and protrusions rubbed inside her, not-quite-pleasantly at first. She dug her nails into the silk sheets at the sharp stabs of pain.

"Ahh. Human woman..You are so..very tight. Moreso then I expected.." He strained into her.

She was adjusting to his girth and the slight tingling she had felt earlier was returning with a vengeance. His teeth bit into her shoulders. A low boiling was starting in her groin and sending tendrils out to the rest of her. She wrapped her hands around his throat and pulled his face up to her lips. When he sheathed himself in her to the fullest, she barely heard him grunt, but she felt the impact rock through her body. She bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

She could feel the fire about to consume her. She was so close..a few more thrusts, another touch.. He swelled even larger within her, his cry of release unmuffled by the pressure on his lips and throat, suddenly loud in her ear.

"Arashu defend me, my sweet siha. Siha."

"Siha!"

*****

She flailed and shrieked, nearly clawing her way out of the cocoon of sheets. Her fingers had a white-knuckled grip on the blanket. Thane was sitting next to her, his hands on her shoulders as he shook her and called her name.

"Great sweet mother of the gods. What the HELL just happened?"

"Are you well, siha? You have been groaning and struggling for the last several minutes. I haven't been able to wake you until this moment."

"I..." She put a hand to her tangled hair in utter confusion. "I must have been dreaming." And oh boy, what a dream. And it had ended too soon, dammit. She was still worked up, an unrelieved flame smoldering in her gut.

Thane looked at her in concern, his arms closing around her waist. "Do you wish to sleep again tonight, or would you prefer something more calming, siha?" His touch, meant to be comforting, reminded her of her unconsummated dream.

_Maybe there's a way to take advantage of this after all_, she thought, moving closer to him.

"Hmmm. No, I don't think I'll be able to sleep again after that. Why don't you come up with a distraction?"

He tilted his eyeridges at her--_two_ eyes, she thought--before smiling wryly. "You are incorrigible, siha. What is a humble assassin to do with you around?"

She began fondling him, more cheerfully rubbing in the best places to get the reaction she wanted. "Thane, you are anything but humble," she laughed.

As he pulled her against him, she reached up to caress his cheek and wondered rather desperately if there was anyplace in the galaxy that she could buy a red eyepatch.

* * *

**A/N: *cues cheesy porn music* **

**Not to worry my children. There is more then meets the eye...patch...**

**Please leave a review if you can, requests are welcome too. **

**Disclaimer: Thane and Shepard are property of BioWare. PIRATE Thane is from...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE  
**


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